Lil Wayne to Superman: CHANGE a fatherhood brings.

my superbaby

my superbaby

First of all, this is not a blog about Lil Wayne, nor am I a fan of his.  I’m using his name more for a symbolic reason, for what he represents.

I, like many who were born in the early 80s, has grown up loving Hip Hop.  Personally I’m more of a Tupac fan, but I listened to all sorts of Hip Hop genres.  From Naughty by Nature, A Tribe Called Quest to west coast Warren G, Doveshacks, and etc.  Though I am lately more of an Oldies listener, I couldn’t shake the Hip Hop influence that was instilled at my impressionable young age.  The Cash Rules Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M), ‘Making it rain’ are very cool principles to live by.

I cared about money, clothes, shoes, good food, concerts, and not much else. It was my definition, and probably was also my identity.

A little under a year ago, everything changed.  Marriage wasn’t the issue.  Nor could it have ever been, as the Boss had a bun in the oven after merely weeks of marriage.

To my surprise the change seemed quite natural.  There was little anxiety involved, and was barely noticeable.  This is due partly to my long standing eagerness of becoming a father, and of course also for the fact that I completely fell head over heels over my adorable son.

Due to a number of uncontrollable circumstances, though, I had to be away from my son when he was 2 wks old, up until a week from now where he’s going to turn 2 months.  The distance apart is hard, but more significantly it gave me more clarity and realisation of the changes that I am going to embark on.

Gone are the days despising baby loving parents, who could only talk about their child(ren), showing photos of them, and even using their babies as profile pictures.  For I, horrifically, has become 1 of them.  Kids has become my favourite topic, and parenting articles my new reading obsession.

The Superman part of the blog title refers to how fathers automatically becomes their kids’ superhero.  This is mentioned many times in parenting readings, and especially true for a son.

Here are some other heroic things waiting for me in the horizon;

1. Having to call the Boss, mommy.  This is 1 of those things that was a big eeewww to even imagine, before our baby was born.  But how can you not do it for your child, especially if you don’t want him to start calling you by your first name.  Yes, its gross.  Imagine saying ‘mommy, tonight is sweet loving time!’

2. I gotta start treating the Boss as…well…my Boss.  Because if I want the kid to grow up respecting, and appreciating women, I would have to, in turn, give gentlemanly examples.  That includes opening car doors for the Boss, offering to get her tea/coffee, massaging her neck after long days, and answer all questions and requests with ‘of course, my dear…’.  I’m sure Lil Wayne doesn’t go through this.  Heck, even James Bond didn’t have to put up with it.

3. Respecting and treating your parents differently.  This could be 1 of the hardest adjustment.  After all, up until the minute I became a father, I am merely a Son myself.  Like all kids, above the age of 21 (15 for some of you), we don’t necessarily hold our parents on a pedestal.  Yes we love them very much, but its not unconditional, and more often that not, we’ll be irritated by them.  Unconditional love is more from parents to their kids.  But, if my son were to be taught how to treat his parents with respect and love, the best way for him to learn that is by seeing my examples as well.  Why would he listen to me, if he sees that I don’t listen to Grandpa?

4. Hiding our vices and bad habits.  I would have to go back to high school habits of hiding every time I light a cigarette.  Keep my farts under control, careful not to cuss, and even be more selective with whats on TV, when he is near.  I can probably still get away with legs on my coffee tables, and will definitely have to teach him how to piss in public.  That is 1 habit that little boys should be proud of.

5. Being 2nd place.  And that’s the best I’ll get.  In most instances the Boss will be the 2nd place.  This would be tough to swallow, as I have a competitive streak.  For he would now be 1st in everything.  Ppl will stop asking me how I am.  It’s all going to be more about, ‘How’s the baby??!!’.  Hobbies will become selfishness, and time to myself will be me being neglectful.

6. Hearing my son say to his friend, in an argument, ‘My dad can kick your dad’s ass!!’.  I pray that this will never happen.  And if so, let his friend’s dad be old, skinny, and weak.

All the above are without even mentioning the obvious late night dramas, being pissed n shitted on, as well as buying clothes that will only fit him for 2 months.

In conclusion, yes I adore him and I do embrace fatherhood.  Saying goodbye to my old life is a saliva-swallowing ordeal, but that’s a small sacrifice for seeing his smile at my rear view mirror, being someone’s superhero, and being in a journey of fatherhood that will likely come with more surprises than I can even imagine.

Just hope it’s all worth it, and he becomes a Wimbledon champion 2025.  For now…..I’m happy to be his Superman.

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