Walk like a man, talk like a man, my so-o-o-o-oNN.

I’ve always loved this song, growing up.  It has appeared in a lot of movies, 2 that sticks out for me, would be ‘Hearts & Souls – starring Robert Downey Jr’ and ‘Sleepers – starring Brad Pitt, Robert DeNiro’.  And that was all that it has been for me.  A really cool song.  And it coincides with the happier moments in those 2 classic movies. Well I’m under 60 years of age, so those movies are considered classics for me.

Now, though this Frankie Valli song holds a whole new meaning to me.  With my son being almost 4 months old, this song acts as my handrail in fatherhood.  My mantra, my wish list, and hopefully will be my proud scrapbook.  I don’t mean to wish to speed up any development process that he is going through.  I AM NOT taking things for granted.  I relish every time spent with him, knowing that I can’t rewind back into these moments, once passed.  What I really mean is, Fatherhood is my dream and aspirations in life.  And now that it has arrived, it has become the new me.

I no longer care about the missed outings with friends.  Nor the cancelled snooker games, poker nights, and drinking sessions. I am happy just to be with him.  Knowing that he needs me.  I don’t want to miss out on any firsts, just because of trivial adolescent commitments.  Cos frankly, none of these measures up to just 1 smile from him.  In those special moments, I can feel my burdens and worries disappears, we are lost in that delicate moment, just the 2 of us.  Moments, that to me feels to so fragile and precious, that it might be evaporate with a slight whisper.

Like footprints on a beach of my soul, I will carry him.  Until I see tiny footprints next to mine.  Even then, there are times when there are only my prints, for I will be there when he needs to be carried.  Eventually my son will walk like a man, and I hope there are times when I see his prints and not mine.  For he would be there, during times when I need to be carried.

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