Are we in control of what is expected of us?
Most of us do, to a certain extent. The way we dress, speak, carry ourselves, all leads to how people will see us. When we have control, we also have self-confidence. Maybe I’m speaking from a ‘control freak’ point of view. For, order and routine gives me a sense of peace. It gives me a sense that I can handle things ok, if the variables are fixed.
Control, however, is nullified with people that we are closest too. Doubters, haters, and naysayers has long plagued even the most successful individuals. The Beatles, considered by many as the founder of Rock’n’Roll had their doubters. Funnily enough, especially in their home town, where people just knows them as John and Paul from down the street. Michael Jordan, was a skinny kid that can’t shoot, grew up being bullied and demoralised by his father and brothers. This was not because they believed in young Jordan. Prosecution by people that are closed to you has existed for thousands of years. Ask Jesus.
Your family’s expectations on you are based solely on them. This is something that we have little control over. I’m not saying that families never supports you. What I’m saying is, it is not your choice. There is no wrong or right, too little expectations against high ones. It is harder to be content. As a result, we tend to suppress these expectations as we grow older. Because, we love them.
I have abandoned expectations some time ago. Not having them, makes life so much easier. Not living up to them? Well, that’s not my problem.
Lately, this defense mechanism fell apart. Our principles no longer matter once we become parents. Your kid waits for you at home, and they don’t give a rat’s ass that you just achieved a major coup. That, you’ve earned yourself double a year’s bonus. To hell with that. In the unadulterated world, they don’t care about your accomplishments. All they want is for you to make them laugh. For you to piggyback them. For you to read them a bedtime story. Your world outside of home is irrelevant. This is Ground Zero.
Annoyed at first, but now I’ve embraced this responsibility. Our kids has high expectations of us, and depends on us for happiness and adulation. It is my job, as a father to provide that. The financial security comes later. For now, ‘I expect you to make me laugh, Daddy’. I haven’t heard those words yet. He has yet to learn to speak. But, I expect no less.